I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
