That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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