Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
