Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
