ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
