Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
