problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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