Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
