I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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