i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
