Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
