It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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