they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
