in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
