This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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