hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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