he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
