Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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(646): View more from New York

We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.

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(817): View more from Texas

they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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(407): View more from Florida

Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt

(202): View more from Washington, DC

It’s a glorious dick miracle!

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