i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
