if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
