I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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