absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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