But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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