3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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