The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
