Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
