Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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