her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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