We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
