I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
