We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
