hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
