I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
did you just send me my own nude
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
