you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
