I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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