just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
