Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's shark week go big or go home
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
