Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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