ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
