Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
