Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
