i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
