the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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