It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
