There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
