i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
