dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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