Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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