I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
