Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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