I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
