so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
