My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
