chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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