oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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