already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize