Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
